


useless homosexuals

by garroways



Category: NCT (Band), Stray Kids (Band), The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: 97 liners and sangyeon are those old friends, M/M, Swearing, They're All Gay, a lot of it, bc i know that whole system, born american??, day6 pop up a lot, i had to leave out like half of nct, idk how this is gonna work but, idk shut up, idk why i decided to do this, if i kept them there would literally be like forty ppl, ill figure it out, ill never keep up with the characters, they all live in America, they're not like, u know those old friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-08-26 05:59:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16675867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garroways/pseuds/garroways
Summary: ji: prepare your anuses cupcakesji: i, jisung park,ji: have some dramaji: about our lovely father chris bangme writing another gc ff?? obviously





	1. prepare ur anuses cupcakes

**Author's Note:**

> ignore the order of the ships that doesnt mean anything there isnt rly any specific main ship
> 
> 97 liners and sangyeon are in college and the rest are in hs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ji: park jisung  
> boom bang pop: chan  
> jeyes: jeno  
> junie: renjun  
> sunshine: sunwoo  
> youngjae: eric  
> hyungseo: kevin  
> hyuckie: donghyuck  
> minhyung: mark  
> joonie: hyunjoon  
> lix: felix  
> minnie: seungmin  
> the letter after p: changmin  
> homin: minho  
> lechen: chenle  
> jinwoo: woojin  
> yeonsang: sangyeon  
> hoonyoung: younghoon  
> woojung: jungwoo  
> hyunjae that's not hyunjae: jaehyun  
> the real hyunjae: hyunjae  
> nyeonhak: haknyeon  
> minjae: jaemin

_**15:23pm || hyunjoon's league of side hoes** _

**ji:** prepare your anuses cupcakes

 **ji:** i, jisung park,

 **ji:** have some drama

 **ji:** about our lovely father chris bang

 **youngjae:** oh worm?

 **boom bang pop:** i have met a real life angel

 **hyungseo:** oh tea?

 **ji:** ok so

 **ji:** our disaster gay of a dad

 **boom bang pop:** aka me

 **ji:** has just had a gay panic

 **ji:** over a cute guy he bumped into at the mall

**hyungseo: oh worm?**

**youngjae:** **oh tea?**

 **boom bang pop:** he was gorgeous

 **lix:** elaborate

 **ji:** ok so

 **ji:** we were in the food court

 **ji:** and

 **ji:** chan is dumb and wasn't looking where he was going

 **sunshine:** typical

 **boom bang pop:** sunwoo please

 **ji:** and he bumped into someone

 **ji:** this guy was like

 **ji:**  gorgeous

 **ji:** literally looked like a fucking model

 **ji:** he had kinda like,,, a bunny smile???

 **ji:** in a good way

 **boom bang pop:** in the best way

 **ji:** and

 **ji:** chan immediately went panicked gay mode

 **ji:** he couldn't even get out a full sentence

 **boom bang pop:** he literally had the prettiest smile i have ever seen

 **jeyes:** what's pretty boy's name

 **ji:** minho lee

 **sunshine:** wait

 **sunshine:** my boyfriend knows a minho lee

 **youngjae:** _**oh worm?**_

 **hyungseo:** _**oh tea?**_

 **boom bang pop:** WAIT HAKNYEON KNOWS MINHO

 **sunshine:** i said he knows A minho idk if its ur minho

 **boom bang pop:** i need to know

 **boom bang pop:**  he's the love of my life

 **junie:** you literally just met him 

 **boom bang pop:** u have a lot to say for someone with narrow shoulders

 **jeyes:** i cant believe chan just killed my boyfriend

 **hyungseo:** ~~_**oh worm?**_~~

 **youngjae:** ~~_**oh tea?**_~~

 **minnie:** oh my god can you two shut the hell up

 **youngjae:** ᵒʰ ʷᵒʳᵐ

 **hyungseo:** ᵒʰ ᵗᵉᵃ

 **hyuckie:** why are we still hyunjoon's side hoes

 **that letter after p:** it's been like that for two weeks

 **joonie:** My Power

 **youngjae:** im still the wife

 **youngjae:** im more important than all of you fucks

 **minhyung:** what's with the language

 **hyuckie:** oh look who it is

 **hyuckie:** bitch baby

 **hyungseo:** oh drama?

 **minhyung:** dont start kevin

 **boom bang pop:** what are our lovely markhyuck fighting about now

 **hyuckie:** that ugly bitch stole my fucking cookies

 **youngjae:** ,,, again?

 **hyuckie:** YES

 **minhyung:** its just cookies donghyuck ill buy you more

 **minhyung:** ill buy you twice as much!!!

 **minhyung:** bc u deserve all the cookies beautiful

 **minhyung:** now pls stop being mad u havent kissed me all day

 **hyuckie:** that won't work on me again u snake

 **minhyung:** alright so cuddle privileges are out of the question

 **hyungseo:** oh snap

 **hyuckie:** wait i didnt say that

 **minhyung:** that's unfortunate who would i ever cuddle now

 **hyuckie:** WAIT

 **ji:** u guys rly had to get all the attention for urselves u selfish-

 **hyuckie:** shut up jisung this is serious

 **ji:** SO IS CHAN'S LOVE LIFE 

 **minnie:** i hate this fucking family

 

_**16:00pm || what the fuck is a mango** _

**homin:** guys im gay

 **jinwoo:** oh really??

 **lechen:** wow,,,,, i never knew that?

 **yeonsang:** oh my god wooj our son's gay

 **jinwoo:** what will we ever do sangyeon

 **homin:** ok firstly shut the fuck up

 **homin:** i dont need ur sarcasm

 **woojung:** what's ur gay panic about now min

 **homin:** i met god himself today

 **hyunjae that's not hyunjae:** yes only be gay for god keep a bible in ur hand god bless !!!!!

 **homin:** ,,,, i fucking hate this family

 **the real hyunjae:** at least ur name hasnt been clowned by the entire gc for months

 **hoonyoung:** shut up hyunjae our disaster gay is talking

 **homin:** ok so

 **homin:** i was at the mall

 **homin:** and i was at the food court

 **homin:** and some guy bumped into me

 **homin:** and i was ready to Fight

 **homin:** but then i saw his face

 **homin:** and its like

 **homin:** ive never been gayer in my entire life

 **homin:** he was with that one kid

 **homin:** lele u know that smart kid at our school 

 **lechen:** the one in my grade?

 **lechen:** the cute one?

 **homin:** yes that one that got to skip a grade

 **lechen:** yes

 **homin:** yeah he was with him!!

 **jinwoo:** so,,, is he around his age then?

 **homin:** he looks older

 **jinwoo:** what's his name

 **homin:** chris bang

 **nyeonhak:** wait chris bang

 **nyeonhak:** is he blond?

 **homin:** yes why

 **nyeonhak:** shit bro my boyfriend knows him

 **homin:** IM SORRY WHAT

 **homin:** can u,,, get me to talk to him

 **nyeonhak:** idk sun might find that weird

 **lechen:** here i have an idea

 **yeonsang:** terrifying

 **lechen:** quiet

 **lechen:** how about i message that cute boy that knows him

 **homin:** and that's less weird than haknyeon asking his boyfriend how

 **lechen:** listen this helps me too 

 **homin:** so ur using my love life to get a boyfriend

 **lechen:** pretty much

 **lechen:** im doing it

 

_**16:20pm || New Chat With Jisung Park** _

**Chenle:** hi i hear u have a certain friend named chris bang

 **Jisung:** says who

 **Chenle:** ur instagram

 **Jisung:** that's fake

 **Chenle:** jesus-

 **Chenle:** my friend minho met him today 

 **Chenle:** and said u were with him

 **Chenle:** and he wanted to talk to him again so

 **Chenle:** here i am

 **Jisung:** chan has been losing his shit over talking to him again

 **Jisung:** but it would be fun to have him suffer

 **Chenle:** evil

 **Chenle:** these default names are ugly can we change them

 **Jisung:** ,,,, are u planning on being here long

 **Chenle:** well you're cute so hopefully

 **Jisung:** oh-

_**Jisung Park** changed their nickname to **ji**_

**Chenle:** lame

 **ji:** hey fuck off

_**ji** changed **Chenle Zhong** 's nickname to **cutie**_

**cutie:** aw u think im cute

 **cutie:** that's cute

 **cutie:** ur cute

_**ji** changed **cutie** 's nickname to **do u ever shut up**_

**do u ever shut up:** no i do not

_**do u ever shut up** changed their nickname to **lele**_

**ji:** no

_**ji** changed **lele** 's nickname to **annoying cutie**_

**ji:** there

 

_**16:34pm || what the fuck is a mango** _

**lechen:** YALL HE CALLED ME A CUTIE HELLO 911

 **minjae:** OO YES BABY GET UR MAN

 

_**16:34pm || hyunjoon's league of side hoes** _

**ji:** tell me why chenle zhong just messaged me and i decided to fucking call him cute 

 **ji:** what am i Doing

 **lix:** disaster gay jisung has arrived

 **ji:** tell him to leave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what that ending was yikes i cant end chapters


	2. yeeting nipples

_**02:33am || hyunjoon's league of side hoes** _

**minhyung:** hey hyuck

 **minhyung:** hey hey hey

 **minhyung:** u cute ass 

 **hyuckie:** what the fuck do you want

 **minhyung:** wanna know ur gay name

 **hyuckie:** my what

 **minhyung:** ur gay name

 **hyuckie:** ??

 **minhyung:** its ur first name

 **minhyung:** and my last name

 **hyuckie:** .

 **hyuckie:** donghyuck lee???

 **minhyung:** shit wait

 **minhyung:** i didnt think that through

 **hyuckie:** you're so stupid

 **opposite of old:** you're both stupid go the fuck to sleep its two in the morning

 **minnie:** guys pls i need my beauty sleep

 **hyuckie:** right i forgot u need to look beautiful for ur man

 **minnie:** i do not have a man

 **boom bang pop:** im sorry what man

 **minnie:** no men

 **hyuckie:** seungmin likes that changbin guy

 **minhyung:** ooooo???????

 **opposite of old:** he looks scary as hell tf

 **minhyung:** he's in one of my classes he's a baby

 **minnie:** i do not like rats

_**boom bang pop** added **banana peel** to the conversation_

**boom bang pop:** WONPIL YOUR BROTHER IS A DISASTER GAY 

 **banana peel:** it runs in the family

 **minnie:** im sorry who are you

 **banana peel:** ur gay

 **minnie:** shut up you bitch ur dating a drum

 **banana peel:** he's a cute drum

 **boom bang pop:** seungmin likes a boy

 **banana peel:** oh, worm?? 

 **youngjae:** oh tea??

 **hyungseo:** oh tea???

 **minnie:** great you summoned them

 **banana peel:** what boy got ur dick up

 **minnie:** dont ever say that to me again

 **hyuckie:** changbin seo

 **banana peel:** changbin seo,,,,

 **banana peel:** i feel like i know that name

 **boom bang pop:** doesnt brian's brother know him

 **banana peel:** OH???????

_**banana peel** added **brain** to the conversation_

**banana peel:** BRIAN KANG

 **brain:** whomst

 **banana peel:** JISUNG KNOWS A CHANGBIN SEO????

 **brain:** why do u need this information snake

 **banana peel:** my brother's love life depends on it

 **brain:** oh worm??

 **minnie:** the next fucking person who says that is getting their nipples yeeted

 **brain:** what does,,,, that mean

 **youngjae:** confusing yet terrifying

 **brain:** the name of wonpil's sex life

 **banana peel:** firstly fuck you

 **banana peel:** secondly does jisung know changbin yes or yes

 **minnie:** by twice

 **banana peel:** seungmin shut up

 **banana peel:** answer the question younghyun

 **minnie:** oo real name

 **brain:** yes he fucking does

 **banana peel:** tell changbin that minnie wants his dick

 **minnie:** I DO NOT

 **minnie:** BRIAN DONT YOU DARE

 **brain:** i know better than to take instructions from wonpil

 **banana peel:** rude???

_**brain** added **sungie** to the conversation_

**sungie:** whoms't'd've?????

 **minnie:** i fucking hate that you both had the same reaction to being added here

 **brain:** jisung

 **sungie:** ew what do you want rat

 **brain:** meet seungmin

 **sungie:** hi seungmin

 **sungie:** who's seungmin

 **brain:** wonpil's brother

 **sungie:** oh shit u right

 **minnie:** who is this seungmin

 **banana peel:** you bitch

 **sungie:** and why am i meeting seungmin

 **brain:** he likes changbin

 **sungie:** oh worm??

 **minnie:** brian kang i will yeet your nipples

 **minnie:** also jisung i do not know you but looks like i must yeet your nipples also

 **minhyung:** that gets more confusing each time

 **sungie:**  wonpil's brother,,

 **sungie:** so,, seungmin kim?

 **sungie:** WAIT SEUNGMINS IN MY MUSIC CLASS

 **minnie:** y,ikes

 **sungie:** ur cute

 **banana peel:** does changbin think he's cute

 **sungie:** idk lets find out

 **minnie:** lets not

_**sungie** added **cronch** to the conversation_

**banana peel:** oh shit

 **cronch:** whom

 **sungie:** binnie

 **cronch:** what do u want

 **sungie:** u know seungmin kim right

 **cronch:** wonpil's brother

 **sungie:** correct

 **cronch:** the cute one right

 **banana peel:** i only have one brother sir

 **cronch:** so the cute one

 **banana peel** : i guess???

 **sungie:** ok that's all i needed to know thanks changbin bye

 **cronch:** wait

_**sungie** removed **cronch** from the conversation_

**sungie:** and there we go

 **minnie:** y,,ikes

 **banana peel:** i hear him having a break down in his room

 **ji:** i wake up and seungmin is seconds away from being laid and i have a name twin

 **banana peel:** how do u know what being laid is arent u like eight

 **ji:** im 11 so shut the fuck up

 **sungie:** WAIT HI

 **ji:** ,,, hello??

 **sungie:** UR THE ONE FRIENDS WITH CHRIS

 **ji:** correct

 **ji:** WAIT

 **ji:** OH SHIT U KNOW MINHO

 **boom bang pop:** y,,,ikes

 **sungie:** hello chris bang

 **banana peel:** what kinda ominous shit

 **brain:** peter stop being fucking weird

 **sungie:** we agreed to never speak of that name

 **brain:** i didnt agree to anything peter kang

 **sungie:** hello 911

 **ji:** good sir

 **ji:** i see our friends are gay

 **ji:** and we need to do smth about it

 **ji:** bc im tired of this homosexual nonsense

 **hyuckie:** jisung park is homophobic proof 

 **ji:** im literally

 **ji:** Flaming

 **sungie:** so what are we doing about this

 **ji:** i dont know

 **ji:** i was hoping you'd have a plan

 **brain:** dont trust his plans

 **sungie:** shut up bitch you're dating a chicken

 **brain:** solid point

 **lix:** JISUNG KANG

 **sungie:** FELIX LEE

 **brain:** speaking of homosexual nonsense

 **sungie:** since when is my baby here and why didnt anyone tell me 

 **minnie:** i dont see a baby here

 **minnie:** only Rats

 **lix:** fuck off seungmin

 **lix:** hi sungie ily why are u here

 **sungie:** apparently ur friend here likes changbin

 **lix:** oh worm?

 **minnie:** felix i am omw to yeet ur fucking nipples

 **lix:** y,,,,,ikes not my milk suppliers

 **brain:** really jisung

 **brain:** this one

 **sungie:** dont speak to me or my boyfriend's milky nipples ever again

 **lix:** mmMmM milky tiddies,,, slurp

 **ji:** i fucking hate felix 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sry i havent incorporated the other gc much ill get to that next chapter


	3. i just ate a drum

_**7:23am || what the fuck is a mango** _

**injeong:** yall having thick ass hair is such a pain i just want smooth thin silky beautiful hair that waves in the wind while the sun shines beautifully in the background

 **injeong:** ,,, fyi i do not have hair on my ass

 **injeong:** i was referring to the hair on my head

 **injeong:** thanks.

 **yeonsang:** arent you supposed to be in class

 **injeong:** no dad class is cancelled today

 **lechen:** we have the same class and i am currently in it

 **injeong:** i cancelled it

 **injeong:** by not going

 **jinwoo:** wtf go to class

 **injeong:** you cant make me ur not my dad

 **yeonsang:** go to class jeongin

 **injeong:** no dad ur not my mom

 **jinwoo:** i dont get paid enough for this

 **injeong:** you dont get paid for ur child

 **jinwoo:** wanna bet

 **jinwoo:** sangyeon i want a divorce

 **jinwoo:** give me child support

 **yeonsang:** i didn't agree to this

 **jinwoo:** divorce isnt mutual my parents can confirm

 **minjae:** yike,s

 **binchang:** yall jisung tricked me into outing myself on my lowkey crush on his brother's friend's brother

 **injeong:** his,,, what

 **binchang:** jisung's brother brian

 **binchang:** has a friend 

 **binchang:** and that friend's brother

 **binchang:** is fucking cute

 **binchang:** and he now knows i think that

 **injeong:** isn't that good get ur dick wet maybe you'll stop being so cranky

 **jinwoo:** jeongin jesus christ

 **yeonsang:** this is ur fault

 **jinwoo:** no it fucking isnt

 **yeonsang:** point proven

 **jinwoo:** i literally want a fucking divorce i dont deserve this

 **jinhyun:** if he's ur husband what am i

 **jinwoo:** my wife

 **sungji:** nice we love a bisexual king

 **yeonsang:** why are all of u here ur supposed to be in class

 **sungji:** i am in class

 **jinhyun:** im sick wooj can confirm

 **jinhyun:** seeing as he made me sick

 **jinwoo:** listen i told u not to kiss me

 **jinhyun:** you have no proof

 **binchang:** im gay so im sick i cant be in class right now

 **yeonsang:** being gay isnt a sickness

 **binchang:** a lot of people seem to think otherwise

 **binchang:** so as of now i cannot go to school

 **binchang:** i cannot infect the other kids with my gayness sangyeon

 **minjae:** if that's the case i really shouldn't be here

 **minjae:** honestly

 **minjae:** none of us should be

 **sungji:** yall clap ur hands if ur **BISEXUAL**  and **A LITTLE BIT OF A DUMBASS**

 **jinwoo:** ( claps )

 **hyunjae that's not hyunjae:** ( claps )²

 **yeonsang:** ( aggressive clapping )

 **injeong:** WAIT YOU'RE BI

 **yeonsang:** aggressively

 **injeong:** I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT

 **yeonsang:** bold of you to assume im a het

 **sungji:** thanks now i owe brian money

 **sungji:** u couldn't have just

 **sungji:** not eaten dicks for meals

_**yeonsang** added **brian??** to the conversation_

**yeonsang:** u and ur brother had a bet on my sexuality

 **brian??:** uh,, no?

 **brian??:** why did i win

 **yeonsang:** apparently

 **brian??:** YEAH IN UR FUCKING FACE PETER

 **sungji:** WAIT

 **sungji:** YOU DIDNT

 **sungji:** YOU SAID HE WAS GAY

 **sungji:** HE'S NOT HE'S BI

 **sungji:** SO NEITHER OF US WIN

 **brian??:** actually jae wins

 **sungji:** im sorry what

 **brian??:** he said sangyeon is bi

 **sungji:** when did u let ur stupid long noodle boyfriend join in on our bet

 **brian??:** if u listened when he speaks u would've heard him join

 **sungji:** so we both owe him money

 **brian??:** correct

 **sungji:** well at least u didnt win

 **sungji:** bye brian

_**sungji** removed **brian??** from the conversation_

**yeonsang:** ive never been so disrespected

 **sungji:** anyway

 **sungji:** **DUMBASSES**  who **SUPPORT BISEXUALS** can clap too

 **lechen:** _claps_

 **woojung:** ( clapping emoji )

 **sungji:** oh shit guess what

 **homin:** u finally broke up with felix

 **sungji:** what no

 **sungji:** brian added me to the gc

 **sungji:** that ur man is in

 **homin:** WHAT

 **sungji:** i have infiltrated their base

 **sungji:** gonna get that bread

 **lechen:** i dont think that's correct sungie

 **sungji:** shut up

 **sungji:** arent u like buddy buddy w that jisung park kid

 **lechen:** correct

 **sungji:** he's there too

 **lechen:** i assumed

 **sungji:** since half of us know ppl in that group anyway why dont we make a big one

 **sungji:** infiltration

 **homin:** i will panic

 **lechen:** lets do it

_**9:00am || Unnamed Conversation** _

_**Jisung Kang** added **cabbage** , **sandy** , **wooj**  and 26  **others** to the conversation_

_**Jisung Kang**  named the conversation **useless homosexuals**_

**Jisung:** sup homos

 **Chris:** whomst

 **Jisung:** ah!! chris!! nice day isnt it

 **Chris:** ur,, scary

 **Jisung:** jisung kang

 **Jisung:** jisung park

 **Seungmin:** this is making my braincell hurt make it stop

_**Jisung Kang** changed their nickname to **sungie**_

_**sungie** changed **Jisung Park** 's nickname to **no parking**_

**no parking:** ha ha what a comedian

 **cabbage:** ji !!!!!

 **no parking:** GASP 

 **no parking:** CHENLE

 **no parking:** HI HOW ARE YOU

 **Seungmin:** who are u and what have u done with jisung park

 **lix!!!:** im great ji how are you

 **no parking:** i wasn't talking to you slut

 **Seungmin:** nvm he's back

 **sungie:** i have nicknames to change please bare with me folks

 **Seungmin:** that's the wrong bear

 **sungie:** shut ur stupid mouth

_**sungie** changed **Seungmin Kim** 's nickname to **grammar police**_

_**sungie** changed **Chris Bang** 's nickname to **bang me**_

**bang me:** oh christ no

_**sungie** changed **Hyunjoon Heo** 's nickname to **joonie**_

**jae:** GASP

 **jae:** MY TINY !!!

 **joonie:** i taller than you

 **jae:** my. tiny.

_**sungie** changed **sunwoo kim** 's nickname to **sunny d**_

**hak:** speaking of tiny

 **sunny d:** IM TALLER THAN YOU HAKNYEON

 **hak:** ur still a baby

_**sungie** changed **Donghyuck Lee** 's nickname to **goofy's laugh**_

**goofy's laugh:** I FUCKSJFOND

 **goofy's laugh:** I HATE THIS

 **Mark:** oh my god bc,,, hyuck hyuck hyuck

 **Mark:** i think i busted a fucking lung

 **sungie:** i couldn't help myself

 **jaeminie:** ill get my bfs wait

_**jaeminie** changed **Renjun Huang** 's nickname to **junie**_

_**jaeminie** changed **Jeno Lee** 's nickname to **pretty smile**_

**sungie:** great

_**sungie** changed **Mark Lee** 's nickname to **marky mark**_

_**sungie** changed **Kevin Moon** 's nickname to **mahina**_

**mahina:** what

 **sungie:** its moon in hawaiian

 **mahina:** oh-

 **sungie:** younghoon get ur men

 **bfg:** yup

_**bfg** changed **Chanhee Choi** 's nickname to **cotton candy**_

**cotton candy:** what why

_**bfg** changed **Changmin Ji** 's nickname to **dimples**_

**cotton candy:** bc ur hair reminds me of cotton candy

_**Eric Sohn** changed their nickname to **sohnshine**_

**sungie:** nice we love puns in this household

_**sohnshine** changed **Juyeon Lee** 's nickname to **juju on that beat**_

**juju on that beat:** i hate you

 **cabbage:** WAIT I JUST GOT OUT OF CLASS IM GOOD JI HOW IS MY MANDARIN DOING

 **no parking:** my hair isnt even orange anymore

 **cabbage:** still my mandarin

 **sungie:** enough with the homosexual nonsense lets get to the reason we're all here

 **sungie:** everyone say hi to my friend minho

 **sungie:** _@minmin_ get ur dumb ass in here

 **sungie:** _@bang me_ christopher say hi to minho

 **bang me:** i wont say hi bc u lowkey scare me i will say hi bc im a nice person

 **bang me:** hi minho

 **minmin:** h,ello

 **grammar police:** the comma of gay panic

 **sungie:** dont joke min ur next

 **grammar police:** oh will u look at that i have to go,,, feed my brother

 **sungie:** knowing wonpil

 **sungie:** i cant tell if ur serious or not

 **grammar police:** i am

_**sungie** added **losepil** to the conversation_

**grammar police:** i hate that ur friends w my brother

 **sungie:** wonpil

 **losepil:** hi

 **sungie:** does seungmin need to feed u

 **losepil:** no i just ate a drum

 **sungie:** oh tell dowoon i said hi

 **grammar police:** fucking disgusting i swear

 **sungie:** wonpil ur brother is a bitch ass liar

 **losepil:** yeah he does that

 **grammar police:** you rly couldn't have my back what kinda brother are u

 **grammar police:** is it bc im gay

 **grammar police:**  STORYTIME: my brother is HOMOPHOBIC???????

 **losepil:** im,,, literally gay

 **grammar police:** that's irrelevant

 **losepil:** so are u gonna do smth about 

 **losepil:** what's his name

 **grammar police:** OKAY WONPIL BYE

_**grammar police** removed **losepil** from the conversation_

**lix!!!:** changbin

 **lix!!!:** his name is changbin

 **grammar police:** felix i know where you live ill yeet your nipples

 **lix!!!:** not!! my!! milk!! suppliers!!

 **sungie:** i thought we agreed we would leave my boyfriend's milky tiddies alone

 **innie:** who's threatening lix's tiddies

 **lix!!!:** BABY!!!

 **innie:** shut up felix im trying to defend ur chest sacks

 **lix!!!:** :((

 **innie:** ugh

 **innie:** hi lix how are u today sweetheart

 **lix!!!:** !!!! im great :)))))

 **innie:** lix are u home

 **lix!!!:** no im at school like u should be i miss u :(((

 **innie:** ill come in for lunch

 **lix!!!:** !!!!

 **innie:** stop being cute i dont want cavities

 **sandy:** i am in class for Fourty Five Minutes

 **sandy:** and jisung makes a massive gc

 **sandy:** and creates mass gay panic

 **sungie:** in my defense i was left unattended

 **sandy:** where's wooj he's not even in class

 **wooj:** im here

 **wooj:** im queer

 **sandy:** why arent u watching the children

 **wooj:** im taking care of my sick boyfriend

 **jinie:** that's me

 **sungie:** wow we didn't know

 **pretty smile:** OH YOU

 **jinie:** oh me??

 **pretty smile:** YES YOU

 **pretty smile:** UR THE ONE IVE HEARD ABOUT 

 **pretty smile:** WHO LIKE EVERYONE WANTS

 **pretty smile:** AND PPL ALMOST RIOTED BC THEY FOUND OUT UR TAKEN

 **pretty smile:** yall are cute

 **jinie:** oof thanks

 **jinie:** that was a disaster

 **wooj:** look at that i have the popular boy

 **sungie:** ur dating a high schooler woojin are u rly winning

 **wooj:** im dating hyunjin so

 **wooj:** u tell me

 **binie:** honestly hyunjin is gorgeous

 **wooj:** thank u

 **binie:** also who tf took my pink sweater

 **sungie:** me

 **binie:** with who's permission

 **sungie:** im ur best friend bin what's yours is mine and whats mine is yours

 **binie:** i want a new best friend

 **lix!!!:** im sure seungmin is available

 **grammar police:** felix im literally centimeters away from yeeting your stupid nipples

 **lix!!!:** literally leave my nipples out of this they dont deserve this slander

 **binie:** seungmin wanna be my new best friend it seems the position is open

 **grammar police:** what are u offering

 **binie:** my endless love

 **binie:** and ice cream on wednesdays

 **grammar police:** today's wednesday

 **binie:** correct

 **grammar police:** so i get free ice cream

 **binie:** yes

 **grammar police:** u have yourself a best friend sir

 **sungie:** he likes cuddles so better be prepared

 **grammar police:** its ok i like cuddling cute things

 **binie:** o,h

 **bang me:** oh minnie got game

 **jaeminie:** he got changbin to use the comma of gay panic

 **binie:** i will yeet your nipples

 **jaeminie:** that's jun and jeno's job

 **junie:** what the hell does that mean 

 **jaeminie:** im not sure

 **junie:** idiot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im just pulling this outta my ass at this point


	4. pergenat

**_03:22am || useless homosexuals_ **

**grammar police:** chris

 **bang me:** why are u up

 **grammar police:** u remember ur broccoli phase right

 **bang me:** yes?

 **grammar police:** and ur blonde now right

 **bang me:** last time i checked

 **grammar police:** so what would u call this phase

 **bang me:** i dont have a name for it

 **grammar police:** literally just come up with one

 **bang me:** cauliflower phase

 **grammar police:** _@binie_ tell him what u called it

 **binie:** ,,,

 **binie:** albino broccoli phase

 **bang me:** is this what u two do at three am

 **grammar police:** he showed up at my window with an armful of food and said "its fuckin movie night whores" 

 **sungie:** yeah he does that

 **grammar police:** i dont even know how he knows where i live

 **sungie:** felix told him

 **binie:** jisung told me to stop coming to his house in the middle of the night so

 **binie:** they told me to go to u

 **grammar police:** what about me makes felix think i will be ok w u coming over at two am

 **binie:** well,,, im here arent i

 **grammar police:** i only let u in bc u started singing twice

 **grammar police:** and if u woke up my brother he would've beat ur ass

 **binie:** i wouldn't mind that ur brother's hot

 **grammar police:** ew literally get out of my house

 **grammar police:** JISUNG KANG TELL UR STUPID FRIEND TO STOP BEING LOUD IF HE WAKES UP MY FAMILY I WILL LITERALLY BE THROWN OUT A WINDOW

 **sungie:** changbin stop being stupid he literally likes u dont ruin it

 **binie:** my stupid comes with me

 **binie:** we're a package

 **sungie:** that's not the package he wants hun

 **grammar police:** im a child

 **binie:** hey seungmin

 **grammar police:** im literally right next to u

 **binie:** hey seungmin

 **grammar police:** oh my god what

 **binie:** wanna go on a date

 **grammar police:** its three in the morning

 **binie:** wanna go on a date tomorrow

 **grammar police:** i have school

 **binie:** wanna go on a date tomorrow after school

 **grammar police:** with who

 **binie:** wanna go on a date tomorrow after school with me

 **grammar police:** who are you

 **binie:** wanna go on a date tomorrow after school with me changbin seo

 **grammar police:** how old are u

 **binie:** oh my god min pls

 **grammar police:** i made my decision the first time u asked i just wanted to see how long you'd go

 **grammar police:** obviously i wanna go on a date with u stupid

 **binie:** i wanna be mad at you but i literally cant

 **sungie:** 1/2 relationships now together

 **sungie:** i cant believe they sorted themselves out they're the last ppl i expected to do that

 **grammar police:** you met me a week ago

 **sungie:** yeah but i know your brother and i assumed gay panic and stupidity ran in the family

 **grammar police:** ,,, wow

 **grammar police:** glad to know wonpil is the person who leaves the impression on our family

_**sungie** added **losepil** to the conversation_

**grammar police:** i literally said not to wake him up

 **losepil:** who's interrupting my sleep

 **sungie:** me

 **losepil:** ill kill you

 **sungie:** you'll be fine once u hear this

 **sungie:** ur brother's gettin that dick

 **grammar police:** im not getting any dick im a Child

 **losepil:** YOU GOT U A MAN

 **grammar police:** yes

 **losepil:** where he at

 **sungie:** _@binie_ meet ur future brother in law 

 **binie:** ive met wonpil before hello

 **losepil:** oh u

 **losepil:** seungmin u couldn't have chose better ??

 **binie:** W O W

 **binie:** WHAT DID I EVER DO

 **losepil:** where do i start

 **binie:** wait please dont

 **grammar police:** wonpil why cant u have a shitty boyfriend i wanna drag him in response but dowoon is a fucking gem

 **losepil:** there's no way to drag him so good luck

 **losepil:** can i go back to sleep now

 **sungie:** yeah go

 **losepil:** changbin if u hurt my brother ill have dowoon beat ur ass

 **sungie:** ,, why dowoon

 **losepil:** he's stronger than me

 **sungie:** fair point

 **binie:** dont worry wonpil i actually like him

 **grammar police:** wow thanks

 **losepil:** alright congrats on getting dick minnie

 **grammar police:** I DIDNT GET DICK

 **losepil:** changbin congrats on getting my brother to like u idk how u did it

 **binie:** me neither

 **losepil:** goodnight

_**losepil** left the conversation_

**sungie:** oh my god i need to tell brian he owes me money

 **grammar police:** did u

 **grammar police:** bet on us

 **sungie:** ,,, no

 **lix!!!:** they bet on whether or not bin would have the balls to ask seungmin out within a week or not

 **sandy:** can you two idiots stop betting on everything

 **sungie:** well how else am i gonna get money

 **sandy:** i dont know maybe get a Job

 **sungie:** that's

 **sungie:** too much work

 **sandy:** i hate this family

 **wooj:** well what's keeping u here loser

 **sandy:** idk probably kevin he's cute

 **mahina:** that's gay

 **sungie:** sangyeon actually liking someone????

 **ji:** some actually liking kevin??????

 **mahina:** i literally breathed

 **ji:** bad choice

 **mahina:** what did i do to u

 **ji:** lets see

 **ji:** that one time i said i was going to texas

 **ji:** u said

 **ji:** nice hometown of beyonce,,, yeehaw

 **mahina:** what's wrong with that

 **ji:** everything

 **ji:** that time i made u a nice hot cup of coffee and u insulted it

 **mahina:** it was cold

 **ji:** a nice cup of coffee

 **mahina:** it was horrible ji

 **ji:** cup of coffee

 **mahina:** i wasnt even sure it was coffee

 **ji:** well i got u a fucking cup

 

**_11:33am || useless homosexuals_ **

**sandy:** guys

 **sandy:** im pergenat

 **wooj:** i didnt impregnate u so whos the dad

 **sandy:** kevin

 **mahina:** oh shit im a father

 **sungie:** how r u gonna have it

 **sungie:** is it gonna come out ur pee hole

 **innie:** ouch

 **sandy:** its gonna come out my nose

 **ji:** so u just sneeze and boom baby

 **sandy:** i dont know how its gonna work i haven't done this before

 **innie:** wait so are u saying ur not my real dad

 **sandy:** yes sorry to inform u

 **sandy:** i didnt sneeze u out my nose holes at the fresh age of five

 **innie:** oh my god what's my life anymore

 **innie:** who am i

 **lix!!!:** he's now laying on the middle of the cafeteria floor thanks sangyeon u sent my boyfriend into an existential crisis

 **innie:** im having a midlife crisis felix

 **lix!!!:** you're seventeen

 **innie:** i might die at 34

 **sungie:** honestly i wouldn't be surprised u have no self control

 **sungie:** yesterday he climbed to the top of that tall ass tree in the field just "bc he can"

 **innie:** i was fine

 **lix!!!:** YOU LITERALLY FELL OUT WE HAD TO CATCH YOU JEONGIN

 **innie:** hence me saying i was fine

 **sandy:** is this what you do when wooj and i arent there to stop you

 **innie:** well i was left unattended

 **sungie:** WE WERE THERE

 **innie:** do you two rly think ur good guardians

 **innie:** felix snorted ice cream once to see if he'd get a brain freeze

 **minmin:** jesus christ what happened

 **innie:** he cried

 **lix!!!:** LITERALLY LEAVE ME ALONE I WAS DRUNK

 **bang me:** who gave you alcohol

 **lix!!!:** you last time i checked

 **bang me:** oh um haha

 **bang me:** gtg

 **sandy:** you gave our children alcohol

 **bang me:** well in my defense

 **bang me:** felix is my child

 **lix!!!:** u snorted me out ur little three yr old baby nose???

 **bang me:** yes u were a very t i n y baby

 **innie:** he's still tiny now

 **lix!!!:** im taller than changbin that's all that matters

 **binie:** felix i will come over there and yeet ur nipples

 **lix!!!:** CAN YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND STOP THREATENING TO YEET MY NIPPLES I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

 **grammar police:** im not his boyfriend

 **binie:** yet

 **ji:** yeah felix he's getting his dick after school

 **grammar police:** I AM NTO HETTING DICK

 **binie:** great you broke him

 **sungie:** can u two stop glaring at our table im scared for my boyfriend's nipples

 **binie:** better protect ur nipples well felix lee

 **lix!!!:** fucking terrifying energy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wish i could say the yeehaw thing is a random joke i made but,,,, kevin has literally said that
> 
> also dont mind me saying jeongin is seventeen when the 98 liners are in hs too and the ages literally not fitting i didnt think about the ages ( bc i dont think ) and just realized it would be weird for some of the members to be so young  
> especially w some ships i added ( like 2jin )


	5. fry feet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no air really had me on my ass these past few days so i apologize for taking longer than usual for this update

_**15:58pm || useless homosexuals** _

**grammar police:** im at mcdonalds and this little kid just took off his shoes and dumped all his fries into it ????

 **grammar police:** MY DUDE JUST PUT HIS SHOES BACK ON WITH THE FRIES IN IT

 **grammar police:** homie is walking out of the establishment with fry feet

 **ji:** arent u supposed to be on a date

 **grammar police:** i am on a date

 **ji:** you went

 **ji:** on a date

 **ji:** to mcdonalds

 **binie:** i am a teenage boy getting paid minimum wage where do you expect me to take him fuckin cheesecake factory??

 **bang me:** i cant believe my son is gonna get dick in a mcdonalds bathroom

 **grammar police:** IM NOT GEYGIIFN DICKDSMSN

 **binie:** how do u even know what to do on a date ji ur like five

 **ji:** excuse u im romantic as shit

 **grammar police:** i beg to differ

 **cabbage:** we went to see the water show on the strip then had dinner

 **binie:** why are children better at love than me

 **bang me:** IM SORRY YOU TWO WENT ON A DATE

 **ji:** yeah

 **wooj:** AND WHY DO WE NOT KNOW THIS

 **bang me:** im not ready for ur lettuce child to join our family

 **sandy:** well we arent ready for ur tall toddler to join our family

 **ji:** too late we're already married

 **cabbage:** yeah you're stuck with me chris

 **ji:** and yall are stuck with me im gonna come to ur houses in the middle of the night and aggressively Be A Cat

 **sandy:** so you're gonna come and sleep all day and demand attention only when its convenient for you

 **ji:** pretty much

 **bang me:** you literally already do that

 **ji:** yeah so it'll be easy

 **marky mark:** hey donghyuck u wanna go

 **goofy's laugh:** yeah

 **marky mark:** on a date with me

 **marky mark:** OOOOHHH

 **marky mark:** OH U DO

 **marky mark:** got em

 **goofy's laugh:** why are u acting like u pulled a worldwide prank im ur boyfriend u egg

 **mahina:** speaking of dates

 **sungie:** oh??

 **mahina:** sangyeon u wanna go on a date

 **sandy:** with you?

 **mahina:** obviously

 **sandy:** see ur previous msg for my answer

 **mahina:** what

 **mahina:** oh

 **mahina:** OH

 **bang me:** oh my god my other son is getting dick

 **mahina:** damn right i am

 **sandy:** NO YOU ARE NOT STOP IT

 **grammar police:** GUYS OH MY GODND

 **grammar police:** YALL REMEMBER MY BROTHER RIGHT

 **bang me:** its as if half of us already know him

 **grammar police:** shut the hell ur mouth crisp

 **bang me:** crisp

 **grammar police:** anyway he has this boyfriend

 **grammar police:** truly a sweetheart dont know how my brother got him

 **grammar police:** anyway he just told me a story about how they met and yall gotta hear this

_**grammar police** added **pencil** and **drumstick** to the conversation_

**pencil:** hi minnie hows ur date

 **grammar police:** great but that's not what ur here for

 **drumstick:** hi minnie

 **grammar police:** dowoon sweetheart hi 

 **grammar police:** i need u to tell us the story about u and wonpil

 **drumstick:** OH THE STORY

 **pencil:** please dont

 **sungie:** please tell us

 **ji:** spill it drum boy

 **drumstick:** ok so

 **drumstick:** a while ago i lost my dog

 **drumstick:** and i was putting up flyers for him

 **drumstick:** and that night some boy ( wonpil ) called saying he found him

 **drumstick:** and after he returned my dog we started talking

 **drumstick:** and then we started dating

 **drumstick:** and last week

 **drumstick:** he just told me that he stole my dog from my yard as an excuse to get my number

 **sandy:** HE WHAT

 **pencil:** listen

 **pencil:** he was cute

 **pencil:** and im a disaster gay

 **pencil:** it worked out ???

 **grammar police:** dowoon i still dont understand why u chose this one

 **drumstick:** idk he's cute

 **pencil:** is that it

 **drumstick:** that's it

 **pencil:** honestly this isnt as bad as how brian and jae started dating

 **ji:** there's a Worse story

 **sungie:** OH RIGHT

 **sungie:** my brother was at the store once

 **sungie:** and this tall noodle of a boy

 **sungie:**  tripped Right in front of him

 **sungie:** knowing jae i still dont know if it was on purpose or not

 **sungie:** and my brothers dumb so instead of having reflexes like a normal person he tripped over him

 **sungie:** so they both ended up on the floor surrounded by the flour my brother was holding

 **sungie:** and noodle boy just said

 **sungie:** ",,, well looks like we fell for each other"

 **sungie:** and somehow my brother was attracted to that

 **wooj:** i,,, really didnt think people could be more of a disaster than seungmin and jisung

 **wooj:** but alas wonpil and brian exist

 **drumstick:** well where do you think they got it from

 **grammar police:** okay thank you dowoon you're an angel

 **drumstick:** of course i am

 **grammar police:** bye bye 

_**grammar police** removed **drumstick** and **pencil** from the conversation_

**mahina:** that's always a good time

 **ji:** lets have a story time

 **ji:** all taken ppl in this gc pls tell us how u got into ur rs

 **ji:** _@goofy's laugh @marky mark @hak @sunny d @bfg @cotton candy @dimples @jaeminie @junie @pretty smile @rose @jack @sungie @lix!!! @innie @jinie @wooj @joonie @jae_ that's your que fuck faces

 **mahina:** who are rose and jack

 **sungie:** jungwoo and jaehyun

 **sungie:** they were jack and rose from titanic for halloween and honestly it was iconic

 **goofy's laugh:** mark and i met bc he accidentally kicked me in the stomach during dance

 **lix!!!:** who's surprised

 **sungie:** literally no one

 **marky mark:** wow

 **hak:** sun and i met bc he came to my table at lunch once and said "i hear ur stupid laugh every day and honestly it makes my heart soft so im gonna need u to stop"

 **ji:** that sounds painfully like smth sunwoo would say

 **jack:** jungwoo gave me a note once at this cafe and it said "if ur not gay my friend thinks ur cute here's her number. and if u are gay here's mine" 

 **rose:** and he's bisexual so we really gave the poor thing a hard time

 **jack:** i decided i wanted the pretty boy w the cute smile

 **ji:** that's gay

 **dimples:** chanhee and i were dating and younghoon came up to us like "hey i like u two wanna date"

 **ji:** are you

 **ji:** serious

 **cotton candy:** 10000% 

 **junie:** i liked jeno and jeno liked jaemin and jaemin liked us both so

 **junie:** we decided to date

 **minmin:** so in the equation you didn't like jaemin

 **junie:** no

 **jaeminie:** wow

 **junie:** but i didnt get why ppl loved their stupid boyfriends so much until i got one myself and after about a week if anything happened to him i would've killed everyone in a ten mile radius and then myself

 **jaeminie:** <33333

 **ji:** disgusting

 **lix!!!:** it took sungie, innie and i a very long time to actually date

 **lix!!!:** we all liked each other but didn't realize we all liked each other and just thought the others like the other and it was a mess

 **wooj:** that's confusing as hell

 **innie:** u think its confusing just be happy u weren't involved in it my poor child heart was a mess

 **jinie:** wooj and i met at a park

 **jinie:** i was walking my dog

 **jinie:** and accidentally bumped into him

 **jinie:** and i, as the panicked gay i am, looked him in his cute face

 **jinie:** and said

 **jinie:** "would it be weird if i said im in love with you"

 **wooj:** and i said it would definitely be weird

 **wooj:** but i gave him my number bc he was cute

 **bang me:** do any of yall have a rs that didnt start with some type of disaster

 **jaeminie:** ,

 **goofy's laugh:** ,,

 **ji:** ,,,

 **wooj:** ,,,,

 **sandy:** me

 **mahina:** sangyeon the first thing u said to me was "do u wash ur pants w windex bc i can see myself in them"

 **sandy:** we agreed not to talk about that

 **wooj:** EW SANGYEON

 **sungie:** DAD THAT'S UGLY

 **sandy:** literally i was drunk leave me alone

 **ji:** sangyeon rly tryna get that canadian dick

 **sandy:** SHUT UP OH MY GOD

 **goofy's laugh:** canadian dick isnt that special

 **marky mark:** WHAT DID MY DICK DO TO DESERVE THIS SLANDER

 **goofy's laugh:** its what it didnt do

 **marky mark:** im being fried by my own boyfriend

 **hak:** oh sangyeon's a Disaster disaster gay

 **sohnshine:** i literally cant fucking breathe someone help me

 **sohnshine:** juyeon i need cpr

 **juju on that beat:** not falling for that one again

 **innie:** ,,, im sorry _again_ ????

 **juju on that beat:** he pretended to need cpr once but it was just a trick to kiss me

 **bang me:** eric are you kidding me

 **sohnshine:** it was a good plan

 **sohnshine:** i got punched after

 **sohnshine:** but it was worth it

 **bang me:** am i the only one here that's single

 **juju on that beat:** im single

 **sohnshine:** we're dating

 **juju on that beat:** we are not dating

 **sohnshine:** :((

 **juju on that beat:** youngjae we are not dating

 **sohnshine:** :((((

 **juju on that beat:** sigh

 **juju on that beat:** i guess we're dating

 **sohnshine:** :D

 **minmin:** im single

 **bang me:** hello minho we seem to bc the only single people here wanna get married

 **minmin:** sure

 **bang me:** great

 **joonyoung:** im single too

 **sungie:** no ur not jacob shut up

 **joonyoung:** this is why im never in here

 **sungie:** does this mean our families are officially merged 

 **ji:** unfortunately

 **mahina:** i love my big gay family

 **lix!!!:** can we get matching shirts like those white families you see at amusement parks

 **ji:** sangyeon i am coming to ur house to be a cat

 **sandy:** chenle keep ur dumb boyfriend away from my house

 **ji:** he's coming with me 

 **sandy:** DONT YOU DARE

 **cabbage:** sorry dad gotta be a cat

 **grammar police:** someone tell bin to stop picking flowers to make flower crowns its really fucking cute and im devastated

 **ji:** YALL KEVIN IS NOW AT SANGYEON'S HOUSE DADS GETTING DICK

 **innie:** i hate this family


	6. applesauce season

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reminder of users
> 
> ji: park jisung  
> sungie: han jisung  
> bang me: chan  
> minmin: minho  
> grammar police: seungmin  
> binie: changbin  
> jinie: hyunjin  
> wooj: woojin  
> sandy: sangyeon  
> mahina: kevin  
> sohnshine: eric  
> juju on that beat: juyeon  
> goofy's laugh: donghyuck  
> marky mark: mark  
> bfg: younghoon  
> cotton candy: chanhee  
> dimples: changmin  
> junie: renjun  
> jaeminie: jaemin  
> pretty smile: jeno  
> joonyoung: jacob  
> jae: hyunjae  
> joonie: hyunjoon  
> hak: haknyeon  
> sunny d: sunwoo  
> jack: jaehyun  
> rose: jungwoo  
> cabbage: chenle  
> innie: jeongin  
> lix!!!: felix

_**15:34pm || useless homosexuals** _

**bang me:** i love the term raw sewage bc it implies that there's a cooked version of sewage

 **minmin:** chris i adore you but Please stop talking for once

 **ji:** im sorry you what

 **sungie:** operation minchan is a go

 **ji:** i thought we agreed to call it banginho

 **sungie:** we did not agree to that

 **ji:** ok we're casting a vote everyone get the Fuck in here

 **sungie:** alright role call

 **sungie:** where are my babies

 **lix!!!:** here

 **innie:** hello

 **ji:** grass where u at

 **cabbage:** my hair isnt green anymore ugly

 **ji:** jack and rose

 **jack:** here

 **rose:** im here im queer

 **sungie:** where are my three parents

 **wooj:** here

 **sandy:** here

 **sungie:** sangyeon where's ur man

 **sandy:** how am i supposed to know

 **ji:** can we mention that he didnt deny it

 **mahina:** his man is here

 **sungie:** where are my fellow poly boys

 **bfg:** here

 **cotton candy:** hello

 **dimples:** here!!

 **junie:** good morning friends

 **jaeminie:** its three in the afternoon

 **junie:** did i stutter

 **pretty smile:** good afternoon friends

 **ji:** where are juric

 **dimples:** what's juric

 **ji:** juyeon and eric

 **juju on that beat:** im here hi

 **ji:** where's ur bf

 **juju on that beat:** probably sleeping

 **sohnshine:** im here!!!!

 **sohnshine:** juyeon's bed is warm

 **juju on that beat:** im sure it is 

 **sungie:** oh so yall Dating dating????

 **sohnshine:** yes

 **juju on that beat:** unfortunately

 **sohnshine:** u didnt say that last night

 **sandy:** ,,, gross???

 **bang me:** juyeon please dont fornicate with my son

 **juju on that beat:** I DIDNT FORNICATE WIRH ERIC

 **ji:** ANYWAY

 **ji:** wooj where's ur man

 **wooj:** eating ill tell him to get in

 **jinie:** i have Arrived

 **ji:** seungbin?????

 **grammar police:** present

 **binie:** here

 **sungie:** jacob

 **joonyoung:** here

 **ji:** 2hyun??

 **jae:** here

 **joonie:** here

 **sungie:** sunhak arrive pls

 **hak:** no

 **sunny d:** yo

 **ji:** markhyuck yall the last ones

 **marky mark:** im here

 **goofy's laugh:** what do u want

 **ji:** ok everyone's here

 **ji:** we're casting a vote

 **ji:** choose

 **ji:** minchan vs banginho

 **wooj:** minchan

 **grammar police:** minchan

 **innie:** banginho

 **lix!!!:** banginho

 **sungie:** my own boyfriends

 **binie:** minchan

 **joonyoung:** minchan

 **jae:** banginho

 **ji:** ok so far the ratio is 3:4 minchan in the lead

 **sungie:** in ur face whore

 **ji:** we still have a lot of people u cockroach

 **jinie:** banginho

 **sandy:** minchan

 **hak:** banginho

 **mahina:** banginho 

 **goofy's laugh:** minchan

 **pretty smile:** minchan

 **jaeminie:** minchan

 **junie:** minchan

 **ji:** ur all uninvited to my birthday party

 **cabbage:** banginho

 **marky mark:** banginho

 **jack:** minchan

 **rose:** banginho is obviously superior

 **jack:** incorrect

 **sungie:** ok updated ratio is 9:10 minchan still in the lead

 **ji:** its a close ratio u ugly 

 **sungie:** not for long

 **sohnshine:** banginho

 **sunny d:** banginho

 **joonie:** banginho

 **dimples:** banginho

 **ji:** AND BANGINHO TAKES THE LEAD

 **sungie:** I SWEAR YALL ARE GONNA BE DEAD

 **bfg:** minchan

 **cotton candy:** minchan

 **juju on that beat:** minchan

 **ji:** ok and the ratio

 **ji:** ,,,,

 **ji:** are yall fucking kidding me

 **sungie:** its

 **sungie:** a tie

 **ji:** that's it we're bringing in a third party

_**ji** added **losepil** to the conversation_

**sungie:** NO U KNOW HE'S GONNA SIDE WITH YOU

 **ji:** where's your proof

 **sungie:** im bringing in someone too then

_**sungie** added **ur brian give up** to the conversation_

**ji:** ok fuckers take a vote minchan or banginho

 **bang me:** dont we get a vote

 **minmin:** yeah

 **sungie:** no

 **ji:** no shut up

 **losepil:** banginho

 **ur brian give up:** minchan

 **sungie:** ,,,,

 **sungie:** fuck you guys

_**ji** added **drumstick** to the conversation_

**ji:** dowoon pls

 **ji:** minchan or banginho

 **sungie:** tie breaker

 **drumstick:** hm

 **drumstick:** i choose

 **drumstick:** ,

 **drumstick:** ,,

 **drumstick:** ,,,

 **drumstick:** ,,,,

 **ji:** HURRY AND CHOOSE DRUM BOY

 **drumstick:** dont rush me im important for u it seems

 **ji:** ugh

 **drumstick:** hm

 **drumstick:** banginho

 **ji:** YES

 **ji:** DOWOON I LOVE YOU

 **ji:** IM BUYING YOU DINNER WHATEVER U WANT

 **drumstick:** OH HELL YEAH

 **sungie:** i hate this fucking family

 **ur brian give up:**  well,,, i tried

 **sungie:** no i refuse to admit defeat

_**sungie** added **dad**  and **long noodle**  to the conversation_

**ji:** oh christ

 **sungie:** it is impossible to have a tie now

 **sungie:** sungjin

 **sungie:** jaehyung

 **sungie:** make a vote

 **sungie:** banginho or minchan

 **dad:** what will i get from this

 **sungie:** i dont fucking know

 **long noodle:** gotta make a convincing argument kiddo

 **ji:** if u guys choose banginho i will clean ur house and make u food for the next month

 **dad:** oh little jisung makes a convincing argument 

 **long noodle:** less little jisung what's ur move

 **sungie:** i will

 **sungie:** uh

 **sungie:** brian help me out here

 **ur brian give up:** nope i already played my part

 **sungie:** if u wake up w nair in ur shampoo bottle dont be surprised

 **ur brian give up:** bold of you to assume i wash my hair

 **sungie:** what the fuck gross

 **dad:** i choose banginho

 **sungie:** WAIT I DIDNT SAY ANYTHING YET

 **dad:** you took too long

 **sungie:** ugh now it doesnt matter what jae says

 **long noodle:** i was gonna choose banginho anyway it sounds better

 **sungie:** why are literally all of u against me brian is the only one who chose minchan

 **ur brian give up:** i change my mind i want banginho

 **sungie:** I LITERALLY HATE THIS FUCKING LOVELESS FAMILY

 **sungie:** FIRST MY BOYFRIENDS

 **sungie:** THEN MY OWN FATHER

 **sungie:** THEN MY OWN BROTHER

 **sungie:** THERE ARE SOME BAD APPLES IN THIS GC AND ITS APPLESAUCE SEASON

 **goofy's laugh:** jisung what the fuck does that mean

 **sandy:** i dont think even he knows

 **dad:** is applesauce season a thing

 **ji:** i dont think so

 **ji:** anyway all five of u are coming out for dinner my treat

 **long noodle:** where do u get the money

 **ji:** i walk dogs in my neighborhood

 **ji:** the owners are all middle aged ladies who think im cute and like to pinch my cheeks so they pay well

 **drumstick:** nice

 **ji:** they always ask me if i have a girlfriend and i Laugh

 **ji:** bc im fucking GAY

 **sungie:** i have nothing to live for anymore

 **ur brian give up:** stop being dramatic i brought home pizza

 **sungie:** nvm i have one thing to live for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this highkey sucks but i wanted to post smth so,,,

**Author's Note:**

> follow my ig @seungrnin if u want,,


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